The Alternatives
by AlbinoCookies
Summary: Clary has some decisions to make on what/who she really wants/needs, Jace or Simon? But there is always something in the way, complications... and alternatives? Work in progress, Colab fic. Set between CoB and CoA.
1. Chapter 1

**Whoa! Someone actually clicked on this FF! Well Hai! **

**This is a Colab fic (want to know more about who we are? Click the profile!)**

**Enjoy reading, and no, We do not own TMI, sadly. But that's because the awesome Cassandra Clare owns all the amazing universe, which is fine with us. Enjoy :) **

_Clary P.O.V_

The library was quiet; I was hoping for somewhere where I could think, alone. I had my sketch pad on my lap and my head was looking down, red strands of hair brushing the paper.

I didn't quite know what I was drawing, I just let my hand wander on the page.. Just then I heard someone open the door "Is anyone in here?" A familiar voice called out. I loved it so much more then I should. In a way, it was forbidden. "Hi Clary" Jace said in a calm voice, I hadn't even heard his steps and yet he was right beside me. I looked up but didn't say a word, Jace looked troubled by something. I thought I knew about it, but I didn't want to believe it at all. "We need to talk," he said in a cold tone, looking away. As if looking at me was hard on him. "Yeah... I know…" I said looking out the window.

I had been avoiding him all week, I didn't want to face the truth. I couldn't handle the truth. Jace sat down beside me. His hands where shaking. I couldn't believe it. Jace who never got scared, Jace who never got nervous, Jace who was always brave.

I lightly placed my hand over his; I didn't want him to be like this. I couldn't help myself but feel some sort of guilt. I turned to him, he was staring back at me.

"Clary…" He begun "What happened the other day... about us... And the whole sharing parents thing..." He paused to look at me. I looked away. I've never seen him like this before. I couldn't bear to look at Jace anymore. I loved him, but not in a siblings way. I loved him the way that two lovers love each other, but in a brother-sisterly way. I wanted to feel his warmth on me again. His body pressed against mine, I could feel his face getting closer to mine, he hesitated but then I felt his soft lips brushing mine. I pulled back, this didn't feel right anymore..

"Clary…?" Jace said as I went back into reality. "Sorry" I said to him looking down in guilt. My heart said to kiss him back, but I tried to keep reminding myself how wrong this was. I shouldn't be thinking these things, I told myself. "Like I was saying, it would be better if we just acted like brother and sister. We can't go on like this... secretly loving each other." Jace finished, giving me a quick, soft, last kiss on my head and quickly walked away. All I could think was; he was gone. Tears were now flowing out of my eyes. How could he just do that? Tell me he wants to be friends, kiss me, and then leave. Without even an other word. Not only was I heartbroken that the only guy I may have ever loved in that way left me, but I was also mad that he just left like that, after kissing me. No explanation, nothing. I didn't know how to feel. Everything was spiraling out of control. My mother being in a coma, finding out Valentine is my father, finding out Jace is my brother, still loving Jace. It was all too much at once. With blurry vision I made my way throughout the institute and into my temporary room. Screw Jace, screw my feelings, screw everything. I got into bed and tried to fall asleep, blocking all thoughts of what just happened, curled up and passed out.

That night I had a dream. It was a relatively nice one. There where green mountains, vast plains and you could water, out in the distance. The breeze was fresh and crisp. I looked up into the sky, some one was beside me.

At first I couldn't make out who it was. He wasn't speaking, but it was at that moment where he reached out for me that I noticed who it really was.

His touch felt so real. I turned to look at Jace. Something seemed different. He looked older. I look down to my own hands, they had aged too. I sat up from the sitting position I was apparently in, in shock, just as I see two kids, a boy and a girl, running around, playing joyfully together in the fields.

It was at that moment were I was shaken awake. Someone was calling out my name, I was still half asleep though. "Clary... Clary wake up!" It wasn't Jaces voice, that's all I could concentrate on. I wanted to see him real badly thought, but I vaguely remember I was, I think mad at him, why though?

"Clary" The voice said again. I could hear her clearly now. It was a girls voice but not just any girl, it was Isabelle.

"Urg." I moaned as I sat up. There was a lot of light shining in my room, it must have been late afternoon by now. "How long have I been asleep?" I said, looking towards Isabelle. As I did, I noticed my neck felt really stiff. My entire body ached. How long had I really been sleeping?

"Two days is my guess, you didn't wake up once since you and Jace had that fight" She said looking out the window. My head was hurting, I couldn't think straight. Did she say fight? Why can't I remember what happened? Jace...

"Did Jace... Say anything about me...?" I asked. I guess I really shouldn't want to see him, but I did.

"Jace? No, he oddly hasn't... Except that you two just had a fight and he didn't want to talk about it. Did something big happen between the two of you?" She asked. There was a certain tone of concern in her voice, but not enough to for her to be completely sincerer.

"No, its nothing..." I looked away. If we really did fight, then I didn't want Isabelle to know. I didn't want to think about him anyways.

And why was my head hurting so much?

"You must be hungry, there is some left over Chinese food in the kitchen fridge from last night if you want." She said as she got up and started walking away. "I have some things to go take care of, ill see you later" she finished as she walked out the door.

I wasn't particularly hungry at the moment, I didn't want to get up. But If I did go to the kitchen, I could use being hungry as excuse to bump into Jace. I wanted to see him. But then again, a little voice in my head was telling me to forget about him.

And then it all came back to me.

Jace was my... is my brother... I have to Forget about loving him, I need to forget him.. I need to forget... But how? He's my brother, I can't just forget about him.

I got up and walked slowly to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, with two days of sleep, I looked worse then I felt. How could this be?

I slipped out of my PJ's and turned on a hot shower. As I stepped in, the boiling water felt heavenly on my aching body. At least I could always count on a hot shower to make me feel a bit better.

**A/N what do'ya think? What ? You want more? Well I would like Reviews and Story alerts, and I know you can't always get what you want ;) well why don't we make a deal?**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Quick A/N before we start, I'd like to thank the awesome people out there, you know who you are ;) for making this chapter possible, and pushing me to finish it even if I have way more 'important' stuff to do. Thank them for making this chapter possible (and writing the ending for me. xD**

**Also, don't ask about the length, yea it's long, yay! Don't know how it ended up like that, it just did! Oh well, enjoy! (And I still don't know TMI, sad, I know.)**

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I decided to tried the citrus scented soap Simon had bought me for my birthday awhile ago. It was extremely relaxing on my body, I almost felt like I could drift to sleep. But then something hit me, Simon... I had forgotten about him during this whole ordeal. I tried to let that thought wash away with the rest of the soap suds and my worries, and for a while, I forgot about it all, nothing was bothering me, it was only me and my cold shower. Wait, cold shower? I guess I've been in the shower for a bit too long, and used up all the hot water. My, how the water was cold. I had enough of this, I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower.

I stood in front of the mirror and examined my body. I was plain, average, a bit too much weight on my thighs. Maybe if I looked more like Isabelle, Jace would like me more in a way that I like him... but that will never happen, I had to reminded myself. I grabbed a towel and wrapped myself in it, trying to clear my mind, again.

I walked back into my room debating whether or not I should get dressed. There was no point I decided, I wasn't going anywhere, or maybe I should leave? But where? back to Luke's place? He must be worried, or did someone tell him i was here? Whatever, I think it's better for me to leave anyway, Jace probably doesn't want me here, and I see no point staying if it doesn't help anything, right? So many question, little answer. I should just get out of here, then decide where I'd be going. I stuffed all my stuff in my backpack and headed out.

As I was entering the main hall, so close to the exit, someone grabbed my arm. I let out a small scream. People should know by now not to sneak up on me, especially if its... I turned around to see Jace. Of course.

"Where are you going?" He said in a very offending tone.

"I don't know, out of here. It's not like you want me to stay..." I said trailing off, pulling my arm away from him.

"You can't just leave, and I never said you had to go" He paused. "I thought you would have stayed longer... that's all." he sounding rather disappointed.

"Well I thought you didn't want me here." I said again, frustrated. After the last time i saw him, i didn't know what to think of him anymore.

"Why would I want such a thing Clary! You're my sister, of course I want you to stay." He gave me a pleading look.

"Well I'm not." I said, as I stormed out the door, almost tripping on my way outside.

Where was I going? He wanted me to stay, why didn't I? Tears started flowing, I tried to wipe them off with my sleeve, but then I realized I wasn't wearing a coat, I was in just a T-shirt. I wiped them off my my hand instead, at least it smelled good... Like oranges, citrus...Simon's soap. I thought about him for a second, and decided where I was going.

I took my cellphone out and dialed Simon's number. "Please pick up, please pick up..." I whispered, wiping more tears out of my eyes..

"Hello?" he answered. "Hi Simon, it's Clary, can you come pick me up, please?" I guess I sounded worse then I though because Simon now sounded concerned, "Where are you? Did something happen, are you OK? What has Jace done?" He said. How did he know this was about Jace? Why did he seem to sure he had done something?

"I'm in front of the institute, and no nothing really happened, well maybe, but I'm fine, I think. And Jace, I don't want to talk about him. " I said trying to get my thoughts together.

"Okay, I'll be there real soon, stay there." He said as he hung up.

And sure enough he did get to the institute fast. He walked out of the car and walked towards me. "You okay Clary? Did he hurt you?" He said embracing me in a tight hug.

"I'm fine, can we just leave." I said pulling back and started walking toward the car, Simon caught up with me and opened the passenger door.

Almost as soon as I sat down, he was in the car, with a worried face again. "Where to, Luke's?" He asked me.

"No, i don't think I want to go there, Jace might try to reach me. Can I crash at your place for the night? Please?" I pleaded, it sounded like the right thing to do, at least to me. "Clary... you know my mother is out of town for a while..." He trailed off.

"So? Does it really matter that much Simon? Don't you want to stay and be with me? You won't be able to stay too long at Luke's..." I said looking down, trying to hide the guilt I felt, asking so much from him. I needed him though.

"Okay, you can come over, but not for long. And call Luke and tell him where you'll be at." He said as he started the truck.

"Fine" I said as I took out my phone and dialed Luke's number.

I looked out the window as the small almost suburban New York surroundings of the institute disappeared into the skyline of tall lit up buildings as we crossed the Brooklyn bridge. Time had seem to stop because Simon was taking forever to get to his place. I was quiet the entire ride there, the only thing going through my mind was Jace, I had to stop thinking about him, and I really didn't feel like talking to Simon about him.

As we pulled up to his apartment, I felt a sense of relief. The whole ride there, I felt that Jace would somehow come out of no where, jump inside the truck and drag me back to the institute. But as we reached Simon's place, that feeling slowing left and was replaced with a certain sense of security. I realized this security came from me missing my old second home, away from home.

I got out of the truck, and walked with him to the front doors to his apartment. We walked up to his floor, he slowly unlocked his door and we where inside the apartment.

It still had that smell it always had since I could ever remember. A kind of fabric softener smell, with a hint of citrus. I liked it because citrus always reminded me of Simon. I once told Simon this, he laugh it off saying I was being silly, but at my last birthday, he had gotten me an entire citrus scented shower kit, including the soap I used. When he handed me the gift, he told me, as a joke, that we would both be able to smell like his house. I had a suspicion that he just wanted me to always think about it, when ever I caught a whiff of the smell. He was just jealous I guess. Which reminded me of why I used it in the first place. To try to ignore my feelings for Jace...Jace, how was I supposed to forget about my feelings for him? At least, I have Simon here now, maybe he could help me forget about my feelings for Jace, maybe by replacing them. He's had a crush on me forever now...

'Clary!' I thought, 'that is totally off limits, don't give him any ides.' I shock all these thoughts out of my head. Simon noticed, he gave me a weird looked.

I walked past him, into the small (but still considered a room) front hall of the apartment. Kicked off my shoes and headed for the living room.

Once again, nothing had change, it was the the same old place I knew ever since i knew Simon. I sat on the couch, and let my eyes close.

Simon coughed, then sat beside me. I opened one eye to look at him, he was looking right back at me,"Are you hungry?" He asked, tilting his head to one side as he looked at me.

"Not really..." I replied, but my stomach cut me off and let out a big growl. I groaned. "At least I don't feel too hungry..." I trailed off.

"Yes you are. Clary, you don't have to starve yourself." He said as he got up. I laughed.

"I'm really not hungry, but if you are, by all means, make something for yourself, I guess I can have a bite or two." I said, as I got up and followed him across the room, to the kitchen.

Simon wasn't the best cook, but he was still better then Isabelle, at least most of what he makes is editable, not that I'd ever tell her that thought.

"Here take this." He said, as he handed me a piece of garlic bread he had just warmed up. I took a bit out of it, at least I knew Simon made amazing garlic bread.

But this one was... different. Not edible, even to his standards. It didn't taste like garlic bread at all, it had a slight onion tinge to it.

"Simon, did you make onion bread?" I asked him as I almost gagged out the bite I had just taken.

"Sorry, we had no more garlic so I made do. I haven't tried it yet, how is it?" he said with a smile on his face.

"Um, interesting for one thing, and very.. different, I must say, very different." I pushed the onion bread aside and started on the bowl of spaghetti he gave me. At least I was able to finish that no problem. Simon surprisingly ate all the bread. Pig.

After dinner, we decided to sit and digest as we watch TV. I had sat down on one of the two love seats in the family room. The room itself was very tiny in size, but the seats where massive, you could lose anything in between the cracks of the pillows.

At first, Simon started on the second couch "not wanting to bother the physics of the pillows" according to him. Couple minutes later though, he gave an excuse about the poor quality of the couch, how inferior it was compared to the one I was seated one. I pulled the BS card and told him he could come on my couch if that's what he really wanted.

Simon was acting really weird and if it wasn't for the fact that I've known him for more then 10 years, I wouldn't have known what was up. Something was bothering him. I just ignored it though, he could get over things easily. My head was full of uncertainty anyways.

One thing we didn't have to worry about was Simon's mother coming home anytime soon, she was on a business trip.

We were now sitting close to each other, closer then we really should be sitting, as friends. But I couldn't care less and actually, I wanted to feel loved by someone, and more then just as friends.

"You're being really abnormally quiet Clary, is there anything you wanted to talk about?" He asked putting his arm around me, not very smoothly I must add.

I looked down, I hadn't told him about what had happened yet. " You have to tell me Clary, I won't be mad, at you. What did Jace do to you?" He asked.

How did he know this was all about Jace? "He hasn't done anything really," I couldn't keep it in anymore, every time I heard the sound of his name, tears would fill my eyes. I couldn't help it anymore, tears started to pool.

"Clary.." He said in a soothing voice.

"It's fine Simon, I don't know why I'm crying. He's just my brother, we fight , it's normal..." I trailed off, sobbing on Simon's shoulder.

"Well crying is normal too" He said. I could feel that he was hugging me , I hugged back, but I did not dare open me eyes. At that moment I felt a light touch on my forehead. A kiss I realized. I opened my eyes to look at him with a bemused look. "Simon.." I whispered. He looked embarrassed.

"Sorry, i should have asked fir-" but he got cut off by my lips touching his.

He softly brushed back. No more tears, no more sadness, I could make this all better. I pulled back, cheeks flushed red. "...Simon..." I said moving away from him. "No, Clary" He grabbed me and pulled me back into his grasp. This time it was his lips to kiss me first. I knew i really shouldn't like this as much as I did, but I didn't want to stop either and nor did Simon.

We kissed for a bit more, but had to stop. Simon, the mood killer, had to go to the bathroom, but when he came back, it took no time to jump back into what we where doing before, but this time, it felt more intense.

Kissing lead into a full out make-out session and embarrassing as it was, this was my first, real passionate make-out. I never would have thought my first time would have been with Simon.

I didn't hate it, like most people reported their first. I actually kind of liked it. Simon probably had some experience thought, but I didn't want those thoughts in my head right now. It felt amazing, finally being able to do what I've wanted to do in a long time, but even with how good I felt, It didn't feel that right, deep down inside of me.

"Sorry Simon, I um, need to put my PJ's on, I just don't feel comfortable making out in my clothes." I said getting up, he laughed and gave me a startled look. as I looked back, I realized what I had said. " I mean in my jeans Simon, God, get your mind out of the gutter." I laughed and play slapped him on his shoulder, he cried out in pain, but I knew better.

I got up and started walking towards the guestroom. Once I got there, Simon had caught up to me, without even looking at him I told him in an authoritative tone, "Simon, I'm quite capable of dressing myself thank you, and I'm not letting you to see me like that, yet." I heard him laugh, why was he laughing?

"Well how are you supposed to get changed without a bag?" I turned around.

"I'm only here to give you you're bag, you forgot it in the hall." He said with a smirk.

" Oh, sorry.." I trailed off... "I didn't mean to accuse you like-" He cut me off.

"Don't worry about it Clary, I've known you forever, we can take this slowly." He said as he handed me my bag. I took it and headed into the room, closing the door before he could say anything else.

I looked at myself in the mirror on the desk; face red, matching in colour my messed up hair. I quickly slipped all my clothes off, including my bra, and put on the only Pajamas I had brought; a small tank top and silk short shorts Isabelle had given to me for my birthday. I worried for a second about Simon seeing me like this, but then got over it as fast, he had seen me like this before, this wasn't anything new for him.

I headed to the bathroom across the hall and quickly washed my face and fixed my hair before going back to the living room. I felt better then ever.

"Okay Simon, I'm back." I said, going to sit down beside him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. In no time at all, our lips touched again. Simon pulled back. "Shorts?" he asked, giving me a puzzling look while examining my body.

"Isabelle gave them to me for my birthday," I said embarrassed. "What? You don't like them?" I had probably turned five shades already.

"No no, don't worry, I like it" he said with a grin on his face and without any hesitation, his hands moved down past my waist line, I felt them go past my shorts and back up. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing my lips to his once again. His explored my body, going from my waist, my thighs, my neck, as I explored his mouth. His lips moved from mine, over to my neck. I let out a light moan. I could feel his lips form into a smile on my neck.

_-later that night- _

"Simon..." I hesitated. "I'm really tired... Can we go to bed?"

"Sure... but I don't really want to sleep alone... because well, I'm not comfortable sleeping all alone in an empty apartment..." He trailed off. He was so cute when he wasn't sure of himself.

"Well I guess we can um... It'll be like a sleep over with friends okay? Simon, just like before, nothing else? Got it?" He nodded.

We headed to his bedroom where he had his double bed. We talked a bit, kissed a bit more, but I fell asleep soon after that.

***Boom boom!* **

I woke up started to the sound a very loud knock on the front door. I looked towards Simon, he was still fast asleep.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! OPEN UP!" A voice on the other side screamed. I looked at the clock. 2:30 am. Oh god, I thought, he found me. Crap.

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**...Hehehe, you know the drill, The more reviews/story alerts I get, the faster the next chap get's posted! Still not interested? Even if I say It's from Jace's PoV... ;)**

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